Since semi isolation is no longer my primary default and i now reside within the ‘furlough’ and ‘lockdown’ gangs, i’ve had to change the course that this mini series was originally going to take. It’s cool, i have time. Neither gang is what i ultimately desired to be in but this is the hand that i, and most of the world have been dealt and so i’m going with the flow.
My annual leave week officially finished on Sunday 29th and so it’s not been until this week began that i’ve really felt this whole sense of ‘lockdown’. The idea of being at home is not necessarily daunting to me. I guess you could look at it in a ‘we work hard to fund the houses that we live in and now we actually get chance to be in them and enjoy them’ kind of way. I am finding though that i’m getting stuck between feeling guilty for just chilling out some days, and wanting to fill my days with more productive things. This week i’ve definitely realised that whilst creating and being active is a default setting for me and for many of us, it is okay to act out of the ordinary in these abnormal times. I’m trying not to beat myself up if i’m having a day where i just end up chilling, because under normal circumstances we would have these days anyways.
With all of that being said however i am still making an effort to get out of bed as soon as i wake up, making the bed, showering and getting dressed (albeit in joggers and a t-shirt but it gets me out of my pj’s) and begin by doing something that’s considered even an ounce productive. These are the ‘small wins’ i’ve discussed in a previous post you can find here. For me, this week they are anything from cleaning, washing the pots, hoovering, working out, practicing Yoga, learning to use acrylic paints, or writing for my blog. I’ve also been FaceTiming family and friends every day which has been lovely to do and also kills a large chunk of time too. I’ve done the ‘Brazened Honey’ Lush Facemask that my friend kindly bought me for my birthday 3 times this week which you can find here if you’re interested in it (it’s delightful) and i’ve not worn makeup in 2.5 weeks which has been glorious for my skin. I have broke out in an usual amount of spots but i’m putting it down to the facemask drawing out the impurities in my skin.
I think in these bizarre and confusing times we have to appreciate how lucky we are that we have a home to be in during ‘lockdown’ and that we have access to the amenities and gadgets that we do. I imagine this whole thing would have been way more painful for our culture without having access to video calling and having Netflix to hand. There’s no rulebook or guidelines on what we should be doing in this time (apart from social distancing of course) and we each are learning to navigate this as we go along. It’s important not to be looking at what other people are doing online and compare it to your own situation, because we are all different. It wasn’t any use to you doing that before all of this, and it’s certainly no use to you now. You’re experiencing this whole thing for yourself not via anyone on social media. We’re all guilty of comparing our lives to those we follow online and feeing shit about it. If you’re doing this i have one piece of advice; UNFOLLOW THEM.
Today is Saturday 4th April and as i’m wrapping this post up i just wanted to share that i’ve just been for a run.
I do not run.
But today i did. We downloaded the couch to 5k app and we did the week one, day one section. I’m not gonna lie and say i didn’t think half way through ‘what on Earth am i doing this for’ cos i definitely did. But this thought aside i’m glad i persisted and saw it through. I’m not expecting to become the next Mo Farah, nor do i want to be, but i would like to be able to run without feeling a sense of impending doom.
Overall the lessons i’ve learned this week are not to give myself a hard time, maintain a good headspace, take care of my skin, exercise (when i feel like it – no pressure) get my small wins in each day and last but not least, run Forest run.