20 something

Hands up those of you who thought that by your mid-late twenties you would have your life all ‘figured out’

Yeah same.

But in reality, what does that even mean?

I’ve wasted too much time worrying that i’m behind with so many things in my life, but i’ve since come to realise that it’s not all about hitting socially constructed milestones by a specific age that society have conjured up. Nope. Screw your tick boxes and your time frames i’ve had enough.

My friends are having or planning babies, becoming engaged or getting married, and whilst that’s bloody amazing and i bloody love it, it doesn’t mean to say that i’m behind just because i’m not at that stage in my life yet. The reality is sometimes things happen which set us on a different path than the one we thought we would walk and therefore our lives alter.

With that been said i’ve decided on 3 things;

• I’m no longer allowing myself to believe that i’m not doing enough at my age.

•I’m no longer giving myself a hard time for having a 6 year relationship fail and being pretty terrified of having to start all over again.

•And i’m certainly no longer infiltrating my brain with negative thoughts about my life, but instead i’m going to use that time to remember how bloody lucky i actually am to be where i am and to look to the future only.

January is coming to a welcomed end by most and so far i’ve been doing a bloody good job of doing things for me. I’ve been consciously only giving my time to people or things which nourish my own life. There’s so much crap in the world that we cannot control, so why would we not want to control what we actually can within our own lives? Stop using the excuse ‘it’s easier said than done’ because it’s not. You are in total control of how you choose to feel and what actions you take to make your life as nourishing as possible. Things will always stand in your way but there are so many parts of your life you can grasp hold of and chose to use for the better. It could be simply speaking kindly to yourself and others or not indulging in negative behaviours and thoughts. As cliché as it sounds i have 0 room for negativity these days and i’m making massive conscious choices in all aspects of my life.

I’ve taken the usual dread of January, span it on its arse and turned it in to a useful way to set a positive foundation for the months that follow. 2020 is the year for taking back control and i’m determined to make it so. I’ve started back up regularly practicing yoga which i’m finding is actually really helpful for relaxing the mind, as sometimes we get trapped within our own thoughts and that can be a nasty place to be. I’m taking the time i need for self care and i’m only using up energy if it’s worth it for me and so far i can say it’s working out just fine.

I actually saw a quote (cringe i know) which resonated with me and it said ‘the day you eat the fruit is not the day you plant the seed’ Everything doesn’t come all at once, you have to experience the process and the growth in between. Wherever you’re at in life and whatever age you are, just embrace the present and don’t stress to much about the future (or the past) it wont do you any good. Things will happen when they are suppose to happen and for good reason. Don’t waste time pondering over what could have been or what could be and forget to experience what’s going on right now, in this very moment. Before you know it the years will have flown by and you’ll realise that you’ve wasted more time than you’ve actually enjoyed and why on earth would we want to do that?!

So there’s my pep talk to myself and to you. Take it, use it or be a fool and totally ignore it (idiot move)

Jade x